Persevering When You Want To Quit

New DayEarlier this month I told you about how I’m revisiting my desire to become a jogger with the C25K app.  I’ve tried a few times but usually bail at about week five when it starts to feel unreasonably hard.

This time around I’m spending a few weeks at each stage of the learning. For the last three weeks I’ve been sticking at the first level where you run 60 seconds and walk 90 seconds for twenty minutes. A five minute warm up and five minute cool down make for a pretty nice half hour workout.

During the third week, I was jogging at 6 mph and walking 4 mph with a four percent incline. I don’t know if this is good or not but it was reasonably challenging yet still attainable. I was even enjoying these workouts.

Last night I moved on to the second stage where you run 90 seconds and walk two minutes. Backing the incline down to 1.5 percent but leaving the speed alone, I managed to stay strong the entire workout.

With that said, I didn’t especially enjoy it. I hate typing those words but it’s true. 

Is it because I have a cold and am just feeling sort of run down? Perhaps it’s because I haven’t eaten especially well since the holiday. It could be that I have a lot on my mind and just wasn’t properly focused on my goals.

Maybe I need to slow down for a couple of days and work my speed back up to six. That sounds a little silly but I absolutely felt those extra thirty seconds.

It could be any number and combination of things but as I sit here my mind is on a negative loop. The loudest thought of them all is a voice that wants to know why I’m doing this anyway.

The answer is because I want to be healthy and strong and incorporating jogging seems like a great way to do that. And I’m at an age that if I’m going to learn how to do this I probably need to be doing it.

But then the demons beneath the surface start to get louder, casting doubt on my own abilities and motivations. It makes me want to quit. After all, why force something I don’t want to do? I’m a grown up and I don’t have to do anything.

The good news is that I’m too stubborn and willful to just stop. Hopefully a few days of clean eating, some rest and a healthier mental position on Wednesday will better prepare me for my workout.

But it makes me wonder – what in your life do you wish you could do but don’t because you listen to the negativity? What aren’t you doing because you think you’re just not good enough or because you’re too tired to keep trying?

And what are you doing because you are too willful to quit but that is never going to work, no matter how badly you want it to?

These are some big questions, especially for a Tuesday morning. But the big questions are there to give us opportunity to know ourselves better and maybe even inspire some much needed change.  Meanwhile, I’m going to persevere and hope you will as well. Happy Day, my friends.