Do You Know How To Relax?

When was the last time you just sat down and relaxed? It seems to be a dying art for most people in my life. I’m certainly not good at it. After all, I spend the bulk of my day working at my job or sleeping. My free time is split between responsibilities at home, occasional hikes and a day trip when I can fit one in but these have been rare lately. 

Sitting down to do nothing just hasn’t been a priority for several months and my mind tends to wander if I try. 

Once the Christmas Eve dishes were cleared and my family left on Sunday night, there was a moment of calm like I haven’t felt in a long time. I looked around and realized that the shopping and gift wrapping were done, the cookies baked, the meal was over and there was nothing left to be done for the holiday. All I needed to do was show up for gifts and a meal at my parents’ house the next morning. 

So I curled up on the loveseat and read a book. I read several chapters and savored the experience. Warm pjs, the glow of the Christmas tree and my little house panther Scout nearby made for a perfect end to the day. 

It felt downright luxurious. 

It would be nice to bottle the calm that made this possible. 

Am I alone in this? 

It’s not healthy to be so busy that you can’t relax. It can lead to poor sleep, tension in the neck and shoulders, headaches and digestive issues. It elevates your blood pressure and is detrimental to your mental health. I notice that some overly busy people in my life are caffeine addicted, tense and paranoid. Personally, I carry all my stress in my shoulders and would be in severe pain if not for the magic hands of my great chiropractor. 

And why? What do we have to gain by keeping ourselves so busy we can’t even sleep at night? 

Do you have tips for relaxing and for sitting still? Winter is a slower time for me and a more relaxing time at home so I suspect I’ll naturally remember how to do this but could probably use a little help getting started!

Happy Christmas!

It’s Christmas Day and that means a lot of things to different people. Hopefully you still view the holiday as a magical time when miracles are possible and when Santa lives within us all. I trust that all my readers were good this year and that Santa left more than a lump of coal in your stockings. If not, better luck next time!

If this is a happy day for you, I wish you the Merriest of Merry Christmases. 

If this is a not-so-happy day for you, I wish you inner peace. Go for a hike, hit the Chinese Buffet (yes, they’re probably open) and reminisce about better days. Build new traditions. Take care of yourself in the ways that matter to you. 

Most of all, remember that you aren’t as alone as it may feel and that it’s ok to not be ok.

Happy, sad or indifferent, please accept my warmest holiday greetings. Scout and I wish you the very best.

There’s a meme circulating that basically says that any sentiment other than Merry Christmas is meaningless this time of year. Personally, I’m just glad for someone to say something nice to me and am more than happy to meet you where you are. So, please read below and find the greeting you like best and feel free to comment with something that’s not here if you wish. I’m always excited to learn.

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. Yuletide Greetings. Happy Holidays. Joyeux Noel. Feliz Navidad. Seasons Greetings. Blessed Christmas. Warm Wishes. Be Merry.

However you say it, I hope you find peace in what you do with this day.

Notes From The Field: Christmas Edition

My holiday vacation is in full swing. Yesterday I headed to a neighboring town to pick up produce for Christmas Eve veggie lasagna and to do a little fun shopping. 

Yesterday was relaxing because, aside from retrieving produce, all my Christmas chores were pretty much done. The shopping and wrapping are done. I am going to make some more cookies and fudge today but it should be pretty low key. In fact, I don’t plan to start my car again until Tuesday because if I haven’t bought it yet I probably don’t need it anyway.

This is going to sound mean but I always enjoy hitting the stores a couple of days before Christmas when all my shopping is done and everyone else is frantically buying whatever stuff they can find. It makes me appreciate the serenity that comes with planning ahead and that inner calm allows for some pretty fabulous people watching. 

While in a vendor mall called Peddlar’s Junction, I overheard an elderly woman answer the phone and then proceed to tell the caller that she wouldn’t be home for a while. “Yes dear, we hope to see you too. We’re out running some errands right now. We’re very busy,” she said as she examined a vintage candlestick.

 I liked her style. 

Incidentally, if I ever tell you I’m out running errands, know that I’m probably at TJ Maxx smelling candles and buying pajamas. I’m probably stopping at a vendor mall and a bookstore too.

While walking through another store’s very busy parking lot, I witnessed a dirty maroon minivan make a turn on two wheels. The windows were cracked and vintage Johnny Cash blared from the speakers. When the driver climbed out, I couldn’t help but notice she was wearing Christmas pajamas and had a cigarette hanging out of her mouth while wrangling a youngster. That takes skill. 

She would make a great character for that book I may write someday. 

Lunch was cheese pizza, enjoyed in the car while I people watched and listened to Christmas music. Whoever cut the pizza seemed to have never cut or maybe never seen a pizza before. It was cut in odd sizes and shapes – one slice a sliver of no more than an inch at its widest and the one next to it at least a quarter of the pie. None of the pieces were pointy. It was bizarre. 

Part of the reason I went for a car lunch is that by the time I got around to eating, all the restaurants were full with folks waiting for tables. Even the fast food restaurants had long drive-thru lines. The other reason is that I wanted to hear Christmas music and feared it wouldn’t happen in a restaurant since it wasn’t happening in the stores. Why? After all, the stores were rocking around the Christmas tree and blaring Mariah Carey on November 1. On December 22, there was no festive music but a pile of Valentine’s stuff already on the shelves.

As Charlie Brown would say, “Good grief.”

All told, folks were patient and nice even in places where the wait was long. I chatted up most of my cashiers and not one of them claimed to be ready for the holiday. All complained they had spent so much time at work lately they had no desire to go shopping in their free time. I try to be extra nice to retail workers because it isn’t their fault that everyone waits till the last minute to shop. Not to mention, they aren’t paid that well and it has to be hard watching everyone come through buying things their families might love to receive but they can’t afford to buy on their wages.

Another common theme was the presence of people talking on their phones in stores. If you’re one of those people, note that you aren’t very fast or efficient while you wander around chatting up Sally Sue about who-knows-what. There’s likely someone behind you that wants to reach around you (or maybe just knock you down) so they can  grab something off the shelf you’re aimlessly blocking. 

Ha! Can you tell I hate phones in stores? 

 In all, it was a great day of  much needed quality time with myself. I found several bargains and a few things I couldn’t live without. As much as I enjoyed this excursion, I was glad to come home with my treasures, light up the tree and turn on the Christmas music. 

Are you ready for the holiday?

Christmas Isn’t Merry And Bright For Everyone

We think of Christmas as a happy time. It certainly is for most of us, at least in memory. For most people it’s about tradition and sharing gifts and meals with family and friends. For others, though, it’s a bittersweet time of memories of days gone by. It may be a time of longing for people mourning those who have died and it can be downright lonely for someone who doesn’t have people to break bread with during the holidays.

I know many who are struggling for a number of reasons this year and some are near their breaking point.

They’re struggling with the blatant commercialism of the season and with tight budgets caused by inflation They’re struggling with the ever growing sense that enough is never enough because Instagram and Facebook show us all the things we need to do better. They’re struggling because they’re unemployed or because their child is being treated for an unspeakable disease. 

They’re struggling with loss. Whether your loved one left this world this year or twenty years ago, there are some losses you simply don’t move past. Not completely anyway. Grief is something I have written about here before. It’s not a fun topic or anything people really want to discuss but it’s an ever present force in the lives of many that we need to normalize acknowledging. 

After all, if we are lucky to live long enough, the people around us will die. And what is grief? It’s what you feel when someone you care about dies or goes away. You don’t mourn the people you don’t like. Grief is harsh. It makes you wish you could fall apart but you feel obligated to be strong. It makes you feel like you’re supposed to go on and live for the one you lost but you feel guilty for moving on without them. You feel guilty for being happy even when you know deep down that it’s ok.

I know several people who have lost spouses, parents, children, pets and other loved ones just this year. Some will try to smile through the pain while some will just want to hide from it all. Whatever gets them through the season ought to be ok with you too.

Life is hard on a good day and even more so when you feel forced to participate in everyone else’s joy. So respect the people in your lives. If they want to come for Christmas dinner, give ‘em a hug and send them home with a plate of leftovers. If they don’t want to, there’s always next year. Maybe save them a piece of pie anyway.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with an instruction book so we all just have to muddle through and hope for the best.

If you are struggling right now, for whatever reason, I wish there was something more useful to say than I’m sorry. That’s all I’ve got. That and a reminder that it will hopefully not always be so hard. It is true what they say. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, one holiday at a time. Keep going and know that Christmas is just a day. Whether it’s money, or insecurities or loss of people keeping you down, the fate of the holiday doesn’t rest on your shoulders if you choose to limit your participation this year.

I hope you find some light and goodness as we shift into winter and a season of quiet rest before the world’s rejuvenation this spring.

Life Around Here: December Edition

Life around here has been off kilter for the last couple of months. It has been busier than I like and more stressful in some ways. Adventure season was shorter than normal this year as I opted to spend more time hiking and less time out running around. That has its pros and cons but the lack of going out and doing and seeing new stuff on Saturdays this fall has given life a different tone. 

I completed 75 miles as part of a Fall Hike Challenge over the course of two months. Those miles zig zagged through state parks, state forests and even a couple of nature preserves and mostly onto new trails rather than repeating the same ones as I’m prone to do. That’s a great thing. 

My annual Christmas weekend with a friend was a bust this year because she got sick at the last minute. I felt bad for her because she was sick and missed out on the fun. While I made the best of the circumstances and went anyway, it would have been more fun with my pal. I haven’t told any of the stories from that weekend here and need to do that soon. It was just a couple of days. While I stayed in Ohio’s Amish Country, I didn’t do much that people traditionally enjoy in Amish Country. Instead, I mostly opted for museums and shopping in surrounding counties. I’m not a fan of that area and have no reason to go back except that I did stay at a lovely bed and breakfast and enjoyed driving some back roads to see beautiful farmland. 

The headline lately is that pure and utter exhaustion has set in again along with a number of other issues I now recognize as symptoms of my hypothyroidism. So, it’s back to the doctor this  week to talk again about how I can’t live this way. Thyroid pain and fatigue are real so don’t doubt the people in your life who complain about their issues. Waking up in the morning is the hardest thing I do all day unless you count staying awake in the afternoon when my mind and body begin to beg for a nap. Diet does help along with rest, exercise, fluids, LOTS of Vitamin C and a little pill that contributes precious little but is part of the team. 

As the holidays approach, so has the cookie baking, rich meals and the comfort foods that make cold weather more pleasant. I’m weighing my options for how I want to retool my diet to better support my thyroid but am putting it off until after all that fun cookie baking is over.  I have been down this path before and know exactly what I need to eat but, man, it is hard to keep up with that kind of rigidity seven days a week. When I’m eating for thyroid health, there’s no processed food, no sugar or sweeteners of any kind, no dairy, no grains and very small amounts of gluten. I prepare every morsel of food I eat and only drink water. Whipping out a frozen dinner because you’re tired after a hard workday is not an option. You use the ingredients you have on hand to whip up a protein, vegetable and healthy fat or just go hungry. 

As hard as it is to prepare from scratch every bit of food I eat, it’s much easier when my head is in the game.

My head is not currently in the game. But I’ll get there. 

Meanwhile, the house is decorated and Christmas cards have been mailed. The days are getting shorter but the impending solstice means that we will soon start to gain daylight. I’m engaging in a Winter Hike Challenge. Our goal is fifty miles and we’ve already completed twelve. I hope to surpass this goal but we’ll see what winter brings. 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I always hoard vacation time for year end and have a reasonably long break upcoming. It can’t come a moment too soon and I’’m looking forward to some time to rest, spend at home and maybe even go out on an adventure or two. Once we finish up Christmas, I’ll be shifting gears into the next season – my Winter No Spend Challenge when I commit to staying home and using what I already own rather than being on the go so much. This is when I reset my habits for the year opting for rest over running around, for getting creative with ingredients from the back of the pantry instead of shopping and spending more time doing quiet things I truly enjoy – hiking, reading, puzzles, movies and puttering around the house. 

This is when I’ll buckle down on nutrition and try to get back into some kind of daily exercise habits that support my angry thyroid. 

I have big plans but these habits I want to build are manageable because self care and wellness can be the focus of my time. Not to mention, many go together. I’m a fan of habit stacking. When you commit to staying home and resting, it’s easier to find time to cook, to sleep, to write, to exercise and to engage in the self care habits you believe are important. When you eat whole foods, your body naturally craves more water and naturally has more energy to propel you into a mindset of wanting to exercise. 

See where I’m going with this? You can apply this mindset to your own life as well by studying your own habits and desires to create goals that support each other. 

So, this is where I am right now. I’m tired and stretched thin. I have ideas for how I want to be but still have a mountain of work on the job and at home to trudge through before I can get there. That’s ok. It just means I’m needed and it means I’ll appreciate better days when they arrive.

For this I am grateful. 

Tell me, what’s happening in your world? Are you stretched thin? Feeling great? Wishing for more time? Tell me all about it!

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Today is Thanksgiving here in America.

It is intended to be a day for gathering with loved ones to express thanks for life and the blessings we enjoy. For some, the day is about gluttony and football too.

Depending on your family dynamics, it could also be about a kind of restraint that some might call passive aggression as your out-of touch relatives rant about the state of the world. If you lack in restraint, it could include lively arguing discussion of politics and the politicians who don’t care one ounce about you while your defending them ruins the holiday meal.

For others it marks the beginning of the holiday shopping season and the hunt for bargains. For some without family, it is a day alone and for some it’s a day of lost pay that is much needed.

Many people spend the holiday remembering loved ones who are no longer with us. Chances are you know someone who is marking their first holiday without a parent, child, spouse or dear friend. Whether it’s the first or the tenth Thanksgiving without their loved one, they’re just muddling through. Show them some grace. That will be you someday.

It’s not a happy day for everyone and yet a glorious time of celebration for many. The ways we celebrate Thanksgiving are as diverse as our nation.

I’m hosting today but my mother will do the cooking. I can be trusted with a veggie tray and dessert and with putting some elbow grease into making everything clean and pretty. I cannot be trusted with anything more important than that and this is fine by me.

Today, I’m thankful that I’m not responsible for cooking the stars of the meal. I’m thankful for the family I was born into and the people I have chosen. I’m thankful for my little cat Scout and for the job that allows me to give him the life he thinks he deserves. I’m thankful for easy access to the natural world, for good books and the people who write them. I’m thankful for the impending shift in seasons and for my own good health. I am thankful for the adventures I’ve had and those to come.

I’m thankful for all I have and for all I’ve lost. Each day, all the good stuff and especially the adversity have helped me become the human I am. For this I am grateful too.

Wherever you are in this world today, it is my fondest hope you have so many blessings that it’s hard to count them all.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!