Whole 30 Captive’s Diary: Day Four

What follows is a true (if not exaggerated) account of my holiday with Whole 30.

7:35 a.m.- Awoke with a good attitude and an appetite for the veggies, eggs and healthy fats awaiting me at breakfast. It may be party day but I can do this!

9 a.m. – Finally got to sit down and enjoy the aforementioned healthy breakfast after helping my mother construct a homemade ice cream cake for her party. Note that this dessert doesn’t contain a single ingredient I can eat right now but a whole lot of things that are sugary and tasty. Think Oreos, Cool Whip, ice cream and caramel.

12:45 p.m. – Made a marinade for the fish I’ll grill alongside everyone’s hot dogs and hamburgers ( Hot dogs. Yuck!), make a nice salad and lay out a potato to bake.

1 p.m. – The pep talk portion of the day begins. This is where I remind myself that the food I eat tonight will leave me feeling satisfied but not stuffed and that there will be no sugar crash at any time today. I am strong. I am healthy. I do not want the sugary crap that will make me feel sick!

3:05 p.m. – Open bedroom door to find 3.6 pound kitten chasing a skink! You know… those little lizard things? Scream like a little girl and call Dad. Note: Life has not prepared me for this moment but I now understand why an independent gal like myself might need a husband. I always wondered why….

3:10 p.m. – Google “how to catch a wild lizard in the house” while waiting for dad and uncle to arrive. Armed with a spray bottle of water (that’s what the internet says), we find no trace of skink.

3:15 p.m. – Plan to move and leave everything behind begins to formulate. Fight off urge to find a Diet Coke and box of Little Debbie Fudge Rounds. I don’t even like Little Debbie products….

3:20 p.m. – 4:15 p.m. – Become consumed with appetite for Diet Coke.

4:30 p.m. – Feel terrible because my mother kindly made me deviled eggs and I can’t eat them because they contain non compliant mayo. She’s annoyed. I’m sorry that my desire to eat well has evidently ruined everything.

5:05 p.m. – Sit down to the most delicious dinner I’ve had in ages. Fish on the grill in veggie seasoning and olive oil is amazing. Better than any restaurant fish. Must remember this combination….. I didn’t even miss the ice cream cake because I had fresh fruit salad on a hot summer day.

5:17 p.m. – Assume the personality of a cult leader as I explain to the family the virtues of Whole 30 eating …. and understand that none of them are buying it. Tough crowd.

8:02 p.m. – Realize that holidays which we define by eating don’t have to be about the food. So what if I couldn’t have chips or ice cream! Big deal! I had a tasty meal and am still full and energized almost three hours later.

8:29 p.m. – Pack leftover fish for tomorrow’s lunch and take a moment to be thankful I never caved and had the dumb Diet Coke.

8:31 p.m. – Remember the skink and crave the drink again.

Sometimes the choices we make are emotional rather than logical. Logic wins today. Better rest up for another day of making good choices!

2 thoughts on “Whole 30 Captive’s Diary: Day Four

  1. OMG this was hilarious!!!!! And I googled those exact same instructions last year when my BFF had one of those beasts in her house in Florida. I remember the spray bottle of ice water. She eventually caught her guy and took him outside in a shoe box but she never saw him exit the shoebox and wasn’t sure when exactly he did so. Outside the house or inside the house?

    I am so proud of you for not caving on any of your cravings!!!! Bravo!!!!

    • Lol. It was quite a day and I’m proud to say that I’m starting day eight and still going strong. I feel really good too! It’s amazing the difference a week can make. As for my skink- he’s still here. I spotted him yesterday but he escaped down a furnace register! Eek!

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