I’m Getting There

Arches and Canyonlands (22)

Standing on the edge of a cliff in Canyonlands National Park during this summer’s vacation. I’m afraid of heights!

This year has been a personal quest for self betterment. The goals are vast and open. The means to achieve them pretty loose. Get healthy. Learn new things. Explore the world. Make new friends and reconnect with old ones. Read. Write. Listen. Engage.

It’s all been part of a big picture goal to know myself, to be healthy, to be strong and to be a better person.

I’ve spent more time exploring than ever before and have sought ways to connect getting fit with exploring and exploring with spending time with friends and spending time with friends to finding things that inspire me.

It’s turned out to be a pretty good year.

As hard as I’ve tried, there have been some real gaps in the process too. People who are important to me but who make me feel stressed or inadequate are a real challenge. The thought of dating again was overwhelming. Wandering alone in the woods makes me happy but also conveniently removes people from the equation.

Along the way I have forgotten to stop and appreciate how far I’ve come or to realize that maybe I have arrived. That’s not to say that I’m done growing and learning and improving myself but I am healthy and strong again – both physically and mentally. Ha, ha… at least by my standards.

A friend recently recalled watching me work through my difficulties early this year. She said I “pushed through the pain with grit and determination.” It sounds silly but that was the nicest thing she could have said to me. Grit and determination. These are strong words and words that I will forever carry with pride. It was tough but I pushed through and made it out of the darkness and back into the light.

Today I’m holding my own and would venture to say that I’m ready to move on. Or I guess I’m ready to keep moving on. I’ve learned a lot from my successes and my failures over the years. The most valuable lesson is to never lose sight of who you are or to stop working on yourself because of a relationship, a job or for any other reason.

You are all you have at the end of the day and it’s vital that you be true to yourself. Be kind to your body, mind and soul. Look inward as you venture forward and you will better understand your place in the world and you’ll be happier for it. You’ll be a better person, partner and friend.

 

 

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